UNHOLY MATRIMONY
By Sonny Zae
Publisher: Roane Publishing
Release Date: May 19, 2014
Genre: Fantasy Romance (with Erotic Theme)
Keywords: Fantasy, Adventure, Romance, BDSM themes, Romantic Comedy
Description: Sonny is so handsome, he doesn’t need magic to get what he wants, except when he gets into trouble. And, he’ll do anything for love or money, except work. So, the thought of marriage represents the worst of all possible worlds, a danger he avoids at all costs.
His plans for getting rich the easy way—by stealing—go awry when he meets Ariella. She is not only lovely to look at, but just may be as slippery and greedy as he. Better still, she becomes highly stimulated at the prospect of helping him hijack a treasure.
But, in addition to helping him steal “goald”, the cunning Ariella might just steal his scoundrel heart.
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Goodreads Link:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21805344-unholy-matrimony
BUY LINKS:
Excerpt:
“Tell me where you hid the amulet.” Her lips touched my ear lobe and I almost lost control of my spleen. “Confess your theft, and I will reward you, will complete the passionate interlude left unconsummated last night.”
“For you, my dear, I would confess anything.”
“Go on, do tell.”
“I confess my desire for you, my passion is aroused by your touch.”
“That is not what I want to hear. Confess you took the amulet, and tell where you hid it.”
“I will.” My heartbeats pounded in my ears. “But first, caress my trouser weasel, stroke it as you were doing last night.”
“Oh, no,” she cooed into my ear. “You tell me where the chicken foot is, and then you will be rewarded.”
I smiled to myself, despite my predicament. Such moments in life were few and far between, moments when fools thought they had the better of me, then discovered they needed to curry my favour, instead of the other way around. “My dear, I will confess nothing. Abler men than you—well, men, at least—have tried to break my spirit, and all have failed.”
“Where is the chicken foot?” she hissed, grasping my ear and twisting it. The pain was sharp and delicious.
“I do not know!” Strangely, it was true.
“Liar! Tell me, or I shall kick you.”
“Kick me if you must, but I refuse to tell you.” I fervently hoped she would carry through her threat. “What will you do with the wedding gifts? I shall tell the people of your village it was all your idea.”
“Oh, my! Dear me!” Ariella responded, mock fear dripping from her lovely lips. “Do you think they will believe you, a stranger, over a beautiful and innocent young girl?” She punctuated the question by kicking me in the gut.
“That did not hurt,” I lied. “Throw your whole body into it. Do you have a pair of pointy shoes? Kicking me with pointy shoes might at least discomfit me…while you are kicking, at least. The pain fades almost immediately and you shall never get the truth out of me at this rate.”
As most know, I don’t read fantasy books but the blurb got me in this one. OMG…this book was laugh out loud funny. The shenanigans that Sonny and Ariella get into are just too much. I will say this about the book, it does have erotic elements/BDSM but its more spicy than anything. Your mom could read it and not be embarrassed.
Sonny is a thief by nature and with his grand sire (he’s a hoot) that set about stealing the wedding gifts from Sonny’s marriage to Ariella. One problem though, Ariella’s dad does not approve of the marriage. This is where it gets funnier. There’s a chicken foot that supposedly have magically powers, a raven that won’t go away and jailer that loves his work too much and the stockades.
I don’t won’t to give away too much but I really liked this book. It was funny, the characters (even secondary characters) were well-developed and this is not the end for Sonny and Ariella. Between the physical comedy, sexual innuendo, thievery and laugh out loud situations that Sonny and Ariella get into…I can’t wait for more of Sonny.
About the Author:
Sonny Zae lives in a small town on the edge of reality. His only remarkable characteristic is imagination. He ignored his grade school teacher’s repeated admonitions to stop daydreaming and get to work.
Sonny’s book WIZARD SEEKING TROPHY BRIDE, is also available on Kindle. It is a story about the exceptional difficulties involved in finding love and happiness for an elderly and strange wizard, not to mention the difficulties of dealing with an elderly relative—an elderly relative who is also a wizard.
Giveaway:
To celebrate the release, we’re giving away an eCOPY of UNHOLY MATRIMONY, as well as a $10 Amazon Gift Card.
